I'm Mad
So it's been a while. I haven't needed to rant and rave that's why. I am SO frustrated. I've yet again encountered the same problem that I had around the same time a year ago. People accusing me of cheating. It's frustrating to know that I am working so hard at something, sometimes not even doing very well, and people are accusing me of cheating on tests. I sit in the FUCKING front row. Why would I cheat? Why are you not telling me to MY FACE. I always have to find out from a concerned professor. It's frustrating to hear "sit in the front" when I already do. I just want to accusations to end because it's very nearly adding to stress that I don't need. I feel like breaking down and crying but there's no one here to comfort me and anyone who is here doesn't understand. I'm ready to just curl up and hope it all goes away. But I know it won't.Right now I'm applying to graduate school. Which is a ton of stress. I don't need anymore of this. There is no way that I will be able to apply to one of the schools. The application is due in 2 weeks and my recommendations won't be in on time. So now I'm down to applying to 2 schools. University of Florida and Florida Tech. So much for University of Washington.
I'm mad at myself for being a slacker. I hate being a procrastinator but sometimes it seems like I can't help but be one. Since I'm in a me-bashing mood; I hate being fat. I hate shopping. I hate judgemental people who don't stop and find out who I am before making assumptions. I'm tired of being a leader of a group where I'm either doing everything for it for completely out of the loop in decision making. I'm ready for this to end. Totally ready for everything to end. I just want to be accepted into grad school at UF, working with the two researchers I met at Kennedy Space Center, do research, get my degree, and stay with Eric for the rest of my life. I'm so glad that I have him around. Without him my nervous breakdowns this semester would not have been tolerable. I just want my degree.
I can't write anymore without bawling. I'm done.
posted by Amy M @ 2:50 PM
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